I’m not too sure whether what I’m going to blog would benefit me in the future. But, I have to write it down, as this is part of my journey. As my tagline says – A blog on self discovery and counting blessings.
So, this is my journey and discovery.
I posted many times about me wanting to conceive. Since the miscarriage last November, I had tried supplements (EPO as prescribed by my gynae, and N*age & B*idadari) and also berurut (complete with jamu). Secara alternatif sudah, so I decided to approach my gynae. She gave us a deadline. If there’s no sign of pregnancy after our marriage hits the 1 year mark, only then she would start the treatment.
On 13th July 2009 – I visited my gynae, since I was EXTREMELY late for my period. But the pregnancy test was negative. Twice. Ye sangat frust. I was diagnosed with PCOS (poly-cystic ovary syndrome), which was not a surprise because she had detected the same thing back when I was hospitalised for twisted cyst in December 2007. Twist ye, bukan ruptured. Back then, I didn’t care much about the effects. Yelah, orang kata kalau difikirkan selalu, nanti betul2 jadi kan? I guess I was in denial since then, which explains why I didn’t do much about it before.
After I have explained to her that prior to my period, I would I feel dizzy, nausea and everything else related to PMS or early signs of pregnancy, she asked me to did a blood test. She would call if there’s anything abnormal. In the meantime she puts me on Clomid, a fertility drug to induce production of telur-telur sihat dan matang. Sebak di hati bila dia kata, “we’re human afterall. some people dpt anak cepat, some have to wait. bersabarlah”. Menangis lagi ku di bilik gynae.
I had to take the pills from Day 2-Day 5 of my period. And.. me and hubby have to… you know just DO IT. I had throbbing headache for the first few days I took the pill, couldn’t sleep well and hot-flushes at night. Every morning hubby bangun tido mesti selsema sebab malamnya buka aircond full-blast. And the WORST PMS ever. seriously. All the hormones.. sheeeshh..
Ok. Pill dah makan. Yang tu pun dah buat. Still no signs. So, continue for the second cycle. This time the dosage has been doubled. So I went back to the gynae, last Friday (21 August 2009). Sebab kedua nak jumpa adalah nak MC, senggugut di pagi hari. Heh. Risau juga, senggugut makin menjadi-jadi kebelakangan ini. Alhamdulillah, she didn’t detect any signs of endometriosis. Lega hati ini.
The blood test result (yang buat masa previous visit) showed something else. There’s a high level of prolactin in my bloodstream. Prolactin is one of many hormones produced by the pituitary gland. Hah! betullah, it’s all in the HEAD (pituitary gland is located somewhere in the brain)! It is primarily responsible for milk production during lactation. Prolactin is a hormone usually found in mothers who are breastfeeding. High level of prolactine in normal woman can often cause absence or irregular period.
Patutla urut-urut belum ada juga. Makan itu makan ini pun begitu juga. Sebab tak jumpa punca nya di mana. So, the doctor decided to normalize the prolactin level first, by prescribing me Bromocriptine – to suppress the production of prolactin. Tapi itu hanya boleh mula bulan Syawal nanti. In the meantime, I can continue taking Clomid, but for this second cycle only. After three months of taking Bromo, I have to come again for blood test, to check whether the prolaction level has decreased.
Kenapa lepas Syawal baru start, tak boleh ke sekarang? Sebabnya, Bromocriptine might make your blood pressure drop, you would feel dizzy easily. Jadi di bulan Ramadan ini, yg mana glukos level memang da sedia drop, eye-lid pun selalu drop, jadi lebih elok start Syawal nanti.
Sejurus saya mengucapkan terima kasih kepada gynae, air mata saya berguguran lagi.
Semua ini membuatkan saya merasa sangat sangat sangat kerdil. Allah maha kuasa, benda sekecil zarah, hormon hormon yang kita tak nampak dengan mata kasar – mempunyai fungsi yang sangat besar kepada kita kan? Saya rasa kerdil sebab rupanya banyak lagi yang saya belum tahu pasal diri saya. Dan apa yang saya alami ini memerlukan kesabaran yang tidak putus-putus. Doakanlah saya dan suami, agar sama-sama tabah, sabar dan kuat dalam menempuhi perjalanan sebelum dianugerahkan anak sebagai penyambung zuriat kami.