In Transition : Episode II

A blog on self-discovery and counting blessings.

Where Art Thou – The Jollier Thou? September 27, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — hubbsnmoi @ 3:42 pm

Had a hectic *a fact which does not have to be repeated* week. Been working through the weekends. Supposed to cover the convocation ceremony this evening, but was told not to since we had already enough inputs for the bulletin.

Yeah. I was Lois Lane since last Wednesday. Covering events related to the convocation ceremony. Lois Lane with 7 months old bump. Not sexy.

Maybe it’s Monday, or maybe it’s the super-sedap nasi lemak that I had during brunch plus not having enough rest make me super sleepy this Monday evening.

So, I decided to visit my old blog here.

The decision to move to the current blog was mainly due to wanting to remain anonymous while at the same time able to vent, share, luah, lepas, whatever i want. That’s why I chose the url yg sangat tak mesra pengguna. I changed to wordpress cos I wanted to blog seriously, on more serious issues. Ye, terpengaruh dengan blog orang lain yg matang2 gitu.. bila baca boleh membuka minda dan jiwa.. mencetuskan anjakan paradigma, can move mountains etc.

Konon dah matang laaa. KONON. And also because I think I need a change.

Tapi hakikatnya, I have talent in mengarut. not mengarang. period.

Another thing I realised, when I compare my old blog with the current one.. i like the old one much much better!!! it’s more spontaneous. and it’s me!!! jolly me. the current one sounded so serious..depressed. warghhhh.. what is happening???

Pastu.. tak banyak gambar. mainly because, to me, wordpress agak leceh nk upload2 gambar ni. hampeh. konon nak up sket la guna wordpress. haha. konon.. kononnnnn…

see..sudah lari dari diri sendiri.

tambah lagi dengan kehadiran FB. lagi la malas nak update kan?? But i still love sharing my story you know.

Maybe, I will move to another blog again? Maybe..

Be less serious. Jolly and happy.

With the baby and all… sesuaikan kalau nak pindah rumah baru?? kan kan?? hehehe

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Approaching 5th Month July 28, 2010

Filed under: family — hubbsnmoi @ 1:32 pm
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Dua minggu ni adalah minggu pening-pening. Sebelum makan – pening, lepas makan – pening, terlebih makan – pening. I told Hubby, maybe what I need is a short holiday. Ambil udara segar for a change. But with the current workload, I can only wish. *sigh*.

On a lighter and happier note – the Little One of course! On our last visit 4 weeks ago, the Gynae told us the baby is doing well. Only that the Mummy still has some bleeding in the uterus which can only be seen via ultrasound. The Gynae told us, it will vanish by next month. At times, Mummy would feel some aches like a muscle being pulled or stretched, but were told (from friends and books) it’s growing pains – Little One is growing, and my uterus is making room for it. Mummy being Mummy is very sensitive to any pain or aches down there – al maklumlah dari pengalaman yang lepas2. But Alhadmulillah, it’s getting lesser nowadays. I can walk faster than I normally do. hehe.

The Gynae did try to find out whether the Little One would be a he or a she. Truthfully, Mummy and Daddy don’t mind – as long as you’re healthy, kami sangat bersyukur. Jadi Mummy sangat bersedih sekiranya ada suara2 yg mengatakan – hopefully it’s a boy. Or firstborn dapat Boy bagus. Siapa lah Mummy nak tentukan gender yang keluar ini. Would my baby will be loved less if it’s a girl? To be able to conceive this Little One, and to feel the joy of pregnancy, Mummy sudah sangat bersyukur.Don’t worry Little One, whether you’re a boy or a girl, we will love you with all of our heart.

So, that’s why both of me and Hubby didn’t really feel the urge to know the gender.. cuma bagus kalau tahu lebih awal utk persediaan bila Little One lahir nanti.

And I already feel attached to it. Ada peluang, mesti nak gosok2 perut ni. Hubby pun tak lupa siang dan malam..ada kesempatan berbual2 dgn Little One. Sometimes, he would helped me applied the stretch mark cream, dgn gaya orang melenggang perut. haha. Kadangkala, he would make joke.. whispering at my tummy. When I asked him, “bual apa tu?”.. and he would say.. “Adalah..saya lagi komplot dgn junior.. awak tak leh tau.. ni rahsia.. nyeh nyeh nyeh”.

I can’t help but to smile and laugh. Oh yeah.. He made me smile and laugh a lot. Thanks Hubby. Even though I had a tough time at work, but you made me forgot all that. I love you even more.

Thank you for being my rock Hubby.

We are due for another check up tomorrow. More updates soon. See u!

 

Meet the New Coffee Latte Colored Lots-o-Huggin Bear June 30, 2010

Filed under: family — hubbsnmoi @ 11:43 am
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Fuhhh… it’s a wee bit dusty in here.

Lack of updating could only mean one thing. My workload is up to here **pointing to the nose**  and I am frantically trying my best to stay calm and complete everything in time. It takes me nearly a month to catch up whatever I’ve missed out during my 2 ½ week of medical leave.

The past 2 weeks were very kind to me. Alhamdulillah, the nausea subsided. It’s more under control now. Less trip to the surau to lie down because of throbbing headaches. Less frequency in throwing up. But increase in appetite. Sangat increase. With more energy in me, I can concentrate much better while working in the office. Thank you Little One. 🙂

Tapi masuk je dalam kereta, lampu ultraman dah berkelip2 tukar oren. Sangat tak larat. Mujur Hubby or my dad still driving me to and fro work. Once reached home, melepek.. penat dan pengsan. Nak bergurau senda dgn Hubby atau kucing dua ekor tu pun setakat ketawa dua harkat je.. I semput you nak ketawa bahak-bahak.

We  also celebrated our second  anniversary. Hubby treated me to lunch at Manhattan Fish Market. We shared Seafood Chowder and Country Mushroom for appetizer, followed by Seafood Pasta (for me), and Flame Grilled Platter for Hubby. For dessert, it’s the smooth Vanilla Milkshake for Little One. Hehehe. And the best part was, I managed to keep everything down in my tummy for the whole day! Yay.. no throwing up expensive food!!!

So, what’s up with the Little One?

During our previous visit to the Gynae two weeks ago (Hubby was with me), I told him that Hubby had not see the Little One did it’s little dance in my womb. So the kind Gynae, mencuba sedaya upaya tried to capture a 4D image of our baby! Waaa.. it’s too early to know the gender but still he insisted on doing it.. nak show off la tu kat Hubby. Hehehe. Boleh tak dalam mencuba tu Gynae boleh buat remark (sambil eksen terkejut), “Eh dah besar baby awak!!”. Abuthennnn.. mak dia asik nak makan westernnn je. hehe

And knowing that Daddy was there, Little One really showed off some dancing skill. Hehe. Kecik2 dah pandai cairkan hati Mummy and Daddy 🙂 Since, Little One isn’t that tiny anymore, we had to measure the diameter of the head, instead of the crown-to-rump length. Sorry, Mummy forgot how much you measure, sebab terlalu excited seeing your dance. Hehe. But when the Gynae tried to zoom in using his 4D scan, you hide your little head behind Mummy’s placenta.. Oh.. pemalu rupanya.. tak macam mak dia 😀

Alhamdulillah, everything looked good. My womb is getting stronger. Not a trace of bleeding can be seen inside the uterus. The Little One has also moved up a little bit. Thus, Mummy is sporting a more prominent bump, which she likes to stroke most of the time! 🙂

But one thing I couldn’t understand, why there’s more hair on my tummy now?? Serious dah terbayang Lots-o-Huggin bear. Only I’m coffee latte colored instead of pink.

 

Si Jalur Lebar June 11, 2010

Filed under: family — hubbsnmoi @ 12:12 pm
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Dear Hubby,

Our Little One is 12 weeks plus and measuring close to 6 cm! How time flies. Do you remember the day we saw the two (verrrry faint) blue lines? Yes, the line was very faint, and so we keep on hoping and praying that, let it be real this time.

The timing couldn’t be any more perfect. You were working on day shifts, so we get to spend every night and weekend together. We went to the Gynae together every week, and see how the Little One grew from one tiny bean  with a heartbeat inside a sac, to one hip hop foetus 😉 The Gynae congratulated you, he was as delighted as we were. As the Little One grew bigger, you were there (and K noha and Nurin were there too) to listen to its heartbeat. Whoop whoop whoop. The most beautiful sound I ever heard. How I wish I could see the reaction on your face. That would be priceless wouldn’t it?

Throughout the first trimester, you have been great. You became my personal cheerleader. hehe. You cheered for me when I could not eat, “Kesian baby dlm tu lapar..”, when I refused to drink milk, “Minum milk.. nanti tulang baby strong mcm saya”, and even when I vomited endlessly, “Baguslah muntah. Nausea is a good sign, there’s enough hormone for the baby inside you to grow.  Saya suka kalau awak muntah”. THANKS. After vomiting, I would started to cry from the pain and then you would rubbed my back and teased me, “You are strong… you are strong kan?? see, baby is strong inside.. chill. relax laaa.” And I couldn’t help but to smile, tears and all.

And during my stays in the hospital, you made two trips everyday (and the hospital isn’t near ok. 40mins drive). You slept at the next bed with me. Eat ta pau food yang tak sedap. Sangat tak terurus but you wouldn’t mind. Yang tak boleh lupa, you can continue eating even when I was throwing up next to you. Hoh. Cekal atau dah terlalu lapar??

But now, you have returned to your usual shift hour, and could not accompanied me for every visit. But it’s ok. The Gynae sangat bermurah hati memberi the ultrasound picture of our Little One after each visit. Seronok dapat tgk perkembangannya from one week to another.

Oh ye.. Lately you liked to tease me A LOT! Sometimes when I felt weak (most of the time just plain lazy) to move.. you would say, “Come on, don’t be lazy,” And I would protested to it by saying “I’m not lazy. I’m tired!!”. Then you would laugh at me, telling me that I am one cranky pregnant lady, to which I would protest, again. It used to be you who have the last word. Now, I have taken the spot. Either you have lost your skill or saja nak kasi peluang cranky pregnant lady menang?? hehe.  Little One, please don’t be like Mummy pandai menjawab-jawab. Mesti dengar kata dan patuh arahan ok?.

Sometimes I would complain you are either too smelly (even though you are B.O free) or too wangi.  Sometimes I felt rimas when you are snuggling  me “Tak suka..tak suka.. takmoh dekat2..geliii”, but at times it was me who is reaching out for you. But most of the time I would feel glad just to see you and have you by my side.

And with our anniversary looming near, I don’t have any plan..or do any preparation. But I do apply for two days leave. So that I can spend my day (throwing up) with you by my side.

Isn’t that lovely kan Hubby?

Love,

Wifey.

p/s: As of yesterday the bleeding inside the uterus seems to be getting lesser. Alhamdulillah

pp/s: why Jalur Lebar? My colleagues said i look wider (lebar) than before. hence the new nick name. thanks eh kawan2.

 

Happy 10th Week! May 24, 2010

Filed under: family — hubbsnmoi @ 12:27 pm
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Dear Little One,

Today, I went to see The Gynae with Tok Aki. Daddy is away at work so he couldn’t accompany me. I still need to be driven around to go places as Nek Wan’s instruction. See, everyone is helping Mummy in taking care of you, my Little One. So you stay strong ok?

You know, I always look forward for my appointment as I will be seeing you, and your little dance in there. Alhamdulillah, today you are 10th week old. The Gynae said you are growing beautifully and healthily. You are now measuring 3.33cm. I think you were asleep as you weren’t dancing you usual dance. Only some movement, which Jac or Abu usually do when I disturb their sleep..hehe. You are strong Little One. I know you are. And I hope you will hang in there, ok?

Mummy now  has to see The Gynae every 4 days for hormonal injection. The injection is important as it will give additional support to my uterus, to make it stronger. It will continue until you reached 12 weeks old. My next appointment would be on Friday. It will be a public holiday and the clinic won’t be open, but the kind Gynae still want to proceed with the appointment. He asked me to text/call him personally when I reached the hospital. Mummy is blessed to be under The Gynae’s care. Alhamdulillah.

There’s still some bleeding inside. But The Gynae said it’s healing. That’s good news. Let’s hope and pray that the bleeding will completely disappear by your 12th week. As Daddy said to you, “Kick the bleeding away Little One!”.

You know, my weight drops a kg since my last weigh in a month ago. The Gynae didn’t comment anything so it should be ok. (Anyway, I started off being a little bit overweight. hahahaha.) It’s expected anyway since I can’t hold down much food. I’m eating like a hamster. Constantly nibbling, but can’t  take big meals. But since you’re growing, it shows that you do get enough nutrition from me.

Anyway, was it you who sent me a sign through my dream last night? In my dream, I was enjoying Nasi Ayam Ojolali. I never eaten there in my whole life my dear and I wasn’t sure it existed until I Googled it. There IS an Indonesian restaurant in Singapore called Ayam Bakar Ojolali. Do you want that Little One? I will let Daddy know ok. *Jangan lepas ni mimpi makan burger unta sudah laaaaa*

Till then Little One. Insyallah I will see you in 4 days time. Take care and be strong k? And while you are in there, do follow Daddy’s advice and kick or blow the bleeding away. 😉

Lots of love,

Mummy

 

Look, who’s wriggling? May 17, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — hubbsnmoi @ 9:17 pm

I was  wheeled into the Gynae’s room and was greeted with, “Why are you bleeding? I just saw you 2 days ago and we don’t expect any problem. Do you *do the do* last night?? You ada jalan2 ke mana2 ke?”

And I answered, “I don’t know. NO! I was so nauseous yesterday I slept at 9.30. NO doing the do. no jalan2. nothing.”

Then the Gynae asked, “Are you crying?”

“I was!”

“Come. We do some scanning. Let me show you the baby is fine. Don’t worry. The baby is fine. Trust me.”

And he was right, the baby is doing fine. Swimming happily in my womb. Serta-merta meredakan kegusaran yang dialami.

“Dah. you can stop worrying now. See the baby is healthy,”

Senyum kambing di situ, sambil lap air mata.

The Gynae was a bit baffled on where the bleeding came. It has stopped once I reached the hospital. From the scan, he detected some bleeding near the placenta. “Can you stay in the ward?” the Gynae asked.

“Do I have any other choice?”, I asked back.

“I’m not to keen to send you home. I want to put you under observation for 2 days and complete bed rest.”

“Okay..”

Hubby came in not long after that *thanks hubby, terpaksa meninggalkan kerja and rushing all the way from S’pore* and he agreed to have me warded for 2 days.

Macam mana 2 hari boleh jadi 4 hari? On  Saturday, the day I’m supposed to be discharged, the Gynae wasn’t too happy with the bleeding. He said it’s still there, only that we can’t see it since it’s contained in the uterus. Maka, saya dianugerahkan 1-2 hari stay in the hospital. But before that, he did asked who is paying for my hospital stay *on our own*, do I have any insurance *yes, but not medical card. so my stay isn’t covered*, and please let him know if the cost is bothering us and he will find other ways.

Sesungguhnya saya hendak menangis mendengar kata2 dari seorang doctor yang begitu menjaga kebajikan pesakit.

Dan saya lagi nak menangis bila the Gynae let us hear our baby’s heartbeats. wahh.. u r really strong little one!

Jadi, stay lah saya for another night, but this time Hubby is accompanying me. Kebetulan katil sebelah takde patient, jadi dapatlah Hubby tido di situ. Terharu saya.

On Sunday *Doc ni serious tak cuti ke?* the Gynae gave us good news, he’s planing to discharged me. But first, he wanted to scan and check how it’s going on down there. The prospect of going home is making me happy… Really happy that the baby in my tummy was dancing!!Literally! Heehe. The Gynae was checking the uterus and the baby when we saw some movement there. At first it sort of kicking/stretching it’s leg. Then it wriggled it’s head and body. ahhh.. my baby is dancing!! hahah. What a happy sight. 🙂

The bleeding is still there. Tapi the Gynae kata it’s not getting any bigger. Just have a lot of rest and jgn buat kerja berat.

We went home, and as per Gynae’s instruction, complete bed rest for the rest of the week. Yeap, I’m on MC the whole week. I am confined to the lower part of my home. I should rest in bed most of the time, penat baring duduk, penat duduk baring balik. penat lagi..pandai2 la hiburkan diri. Yes, it can be tiring..and mundane.. but my main concern is this little one inside me.. so you just do whatever you gotta do right?

Please pray for the wellbeing of my little one, as well as the mommy. And thank you for doing so.

 

4 Days in the Hospital

Filed under: Uncategorized — hubbsnmoi @ 11:07 am

We had a scare last week. A real scare.  My department had a meeting last Thursday morning. During the break, I got up from my chair and… when suddenly I felt some ‘swooshing’ down there. O’oh. My first thought was, “What was that???”. I rushed to the toilet and…

There was blood. I started to panic.

I had some bleeding before, but mostly it were old dried blood. Brownish or pinkish. The Gynae told me, if it’s old blood, it should be ok.. But if it’s blood..as in red and fresh… it’s not good.

It was red, and fresh blood. But I didn’t feel any pain down there. But there was blood.

OMG OMG OMG

I was in panic. The only thing I can think of, is… Ya Allah..let the baby be ok..let the baby be ok. I came out of the toilet and the first person I saw was my colleague Kak Zafa, who is pregnant too. I went up to her and told her what I saw and I broke down there and then. She consoled me, and asked for help from another colleague, En. F to drive us to the university’s clinic. Saya yang sedang panic ini boleh insist nak drive on my own all the way to my Gynae’s at Seri Alam.

They are God send.

At the clinic, the doctor scanned and said that the baby is still in there. Tapi dari mesin tahun tok kadok *maaflah, i’m so used to the mesin yg sangat advance at my Gynae”, that’s all the doc can say. Initially they wanted to refer me to GH, but I insisted.. no I begged.. please send me to my Gynae. And they did exactly that. After putting me on drip *sakitnya* they send me to my Gynae.. in the university’s ambulance.. all the way from Skudai to Seri Alam.

I had motion sickness throughout the journey. It was bumpy, and noisy. Yeah the siren was on. I was all alone, and all I could do was to recite Al-Fatihah over and over again.

To be continued…